what you said to me…

the kind of person you are to me
is exactly the kind of person that I want to be
i want to love like you and feel like you
and i want to think how you think and do what you do
i want to learn all the interesting things that you know
and read all the books you read and go where you go
i want to sing all the songs that you have in your head
and touch with your hands and sleep in your bed
i want to speak with your mouth and play with your hair
and when you feel like crying, i want to be there
and yet…
when i say your the person that i want to be
you smile softly and say that you want to be me

my place is…

When things get
crazy
I escape to a special place.
This place is all for me.
There are no walls to
hold me
or harness my creativity.
Just open skies
clear blue ties
The air is sweet
with the faint aroma of
safeness;
a mothers embrace .
All these ideas,
wrapped up in a tiny body.
My place is passion.
My place is perfect.
My place is you.

Just a thought…

I use to be the one who see the world in a different view
not knowing what real and what is there
I can’t explain the simple things in life
the strife, the knife, the cut thats never fair
lets me just apologize for what i have to say
for the all lies and for what i have done
my world without you has made me realize
i pulled the trigger without the gun

i got caught wit my pride and my freedom
i got caught without my heart and soul
i got caught by playing cat and mouse
if i never had got caught, would it end the fold

now i see the world in a different light, blinded by something we all knew.
the little things make life real
the sadness, the love, the air we breathe and you.

Urban Decay

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, falling off of my own two feet.
The evening’s drink has left a taste in my mouth bitter-sweet.
Looking out my window, I’m knee deep in urban decay.
From my window I can see the ghetto burning away.
Every passing minute yet another drug transaction.
Distraction is as common as a fair ground attraction.

Living in the maze,
I’m amazed,
by the ways,
and the days,
of forever growing non-stop pressure.
My pointablity,
my stablity,
my individuality,
much creativity,
and still I am the lesser?

I find myself surrounded by clouded minds which walls form a border.
Within this walls I am surrounded with chaos and disorder.
Surrounded by wars that are varying in size.
Wars that are casting images every time i close my eyes.
I hear the whispers as you all discuss me,
Which you all should know is you disgust me.

the lyrics flows.
the wind blows.
and life goes on.
and the fight goes on.
and this is the battle on,
I carry on.
Trying desperately,
to let the negitivity,
get the best of me.

Threw the worst of days,
tripping over my own two feet.
Landing face down,
on cold hard concrete.
Struggling to stand,
I settle to crawl.
Then I look into her eyes as she gives me her hand,
and nothing matters, it doesn’t hurt at all.

The Balance Between No Where And Nothing

Taken all my pills and i’m still not sleepy.
Trick myself into thinking that i’m not awake,
that it’s all only a dream.
Is this a dream of a dream?

Put my cigarette out.
I threw my blows but I lost the war.
It all looks so worn from here.
I got all i need
spirit,
hopes,
and jokes.
But no one really knows me.
Looks like i lost my pills,
I guess i’ll take my chances.
Looking at the phone cord but nothings happening. I am well aware that the morning nears.

Turn down the radio,
only to listen to the gears in my head.
The chitter chatter’s got me shattered.
I feel scattered now.
Scream but cautious to be quiet.
Find a remote and change the time.
Trying to paint in color,
and paint between the lines.
Nothing wears a pretty face and armour,
shines at the surface and is cold below.

Don’t tell me nothing.
I already know nothing.
Living like a mobile spinning off it’s line.
Tension rising higher,
pouring threw the cracks in the window.
It never goes away.
Nothing never goes away.
Nothing’s got a brand new set of reasons why i can’t let it go.
Made my decision to stay awake.
Hear my own confessions and forgive my own
mistakes.

.

Thinking so hard You think Others can Hear
So I sat and I thought
and I thought a little more
but by the end I still didn’t know what to think
So I sit and i think
and I think a little more
Each day I’m coming closer to the thought

But am I getting closer
Or am I getting left behind?
I feel so close yet so far
the carrot at the end of a stick.

I still don’t know what to think
I’m coming closer to the thought
But by the end I’ll think a little more.

All Because of You…

I had the image of perfection in my head
Then I saw you and I was proven wrong
You see I thought that life was great
And then you came and showed me more
You taught me that life is about taking chances
Taking risks and not being afraid to get hurt
You taught me what love was all about

I was stuck on a never-ending road
I didnt know where to go or how to get out
I didnt know who to hold
I thought that no one would care
Then you came to me

Without you
I would never love the way I do
And I want to say thank you
Cause its all because of you
I love you turtlehead

Something From Nothing

born in the crack
alley
of my mind
sloping, melting, flowing
like molten sugar
down a slope of paradise

yet you appeared
eyes wide
developing colour
shining flaws with
beautiful contrast
and something i couldn’t place

a squirrel
or television
who really knows
the world at best
but one thing is certain

this poem means nothing

Changing

I miss this group of friends,
this group of friends is like a matching wardrobe
brought to a thriftstore, 
being prepared for permanent seperation,
never to be the same, never to be together again,
its not sad to see us split apart,
its just sad to not know where or when or if we will meet again,
wondering what he or she will do with their time, when you no longer occupy a section of it,
when you can no longer stake your claim in it,
and you can no longer keep that person content,
spend time thinking of someone else,
because thinking of them makes you somewhat ill,
by the time you realize I feel this way I won’t,
and its a cycle so when I do again you don’t,
but the best friendships are like records,
they can last forever if you treat them with care,
and wherever you wanna go they can take you there,
so when part of your life is in a plastic bag on your way to the thrift store
remember its part of life, no piece of clothing will last forever
the most it can hope is too grown old and stay in one piece
the less it gets worn the more chance it has of surviving longer
but at the same time the less its worn the less it will learn and grow stronger
we can’t all be kept forever and kept together

My Significant Other

It’s funny how I can feel so many things
When I’m only thinking about one
Mixed results and unfinished thoughts
Things I’ve said that can’t be undone

Have I wasted my time…
My precious life… not so precious anymore
I am hopeless and alive
Lying, cold on the floor

I wish I could deserve it
Instead, you watch me fall
I feel worthless with your love
Just you, above it all

The silence I endure
long depressing days
The things I could never say
In so many different ways

I live this life scared
These moments, half awake
Never knowing where you are
Never knowing what time will take

On me, it seems to collapse
Your different strands of affection
I’m stuck and can’t get out
My beautiful… complex… affliction

I’ve turned you into poetry.
You write the pages of my existence.